I Dislike Malls

Picture From.

But I like to shop. The main and only reason why I dislike malls is because it is extremely 'airy' or there's a lot of air flow which causes my eyes to dry and become sensitive. And when I am shopping, I like to see what's around me by using my eyes but I can't when they feel stingy. So my alternative is shopping online. I have taken back my words from years ago saying something that online shopping is stupid and stuff but I have realize that shopping online (you must know your size though) has a lot more to offer.

There are a lot of options for us to choose from which is great. I like options and choices, pro choice =) but I do like the interactions of people from malls and such, plus shopping with friends is always nice. You get to talk, chill, eat a little, be social. But if I want deals and options, online is the way to go; so basically, I am trying to say, I shop online for stuff for me but I go out to malls to be a girl and hang out with her friends. To be social, which I sort of need to improve on.

Anyways, now I need to like buy 100000000000 packs of eye drops so my eyes won't become so dry whenever I go to a cool airy place like the mall.

Current Mood: Don't Know.

I feel like I should somewhat, journal my moods. The best way also known as the most active way is for me to post it.

Well; I feel like I am a potato. Doing nothing, wanting to do everything.

I have a lot of projects to do and yet I am not doing it because I dislike working when there are people in my work area, as of right now known as my house. But I want to do the projects and complete them. But something inside of me decides that I cannot do that. Sometime I want to be like a werewolf in which I tear my inner-ness out. Just so I can rip my guts out.

I don't know. I feel so ... I don't know.

I like the unknown in adventure and sensing. But I don't like the unknown when it comes to myself. I like to know what direction I am heading in my inner self. My spirit even. And of course I do not know.

Some people are afraid of the direction they are heading in life; they need to plan it out and have it somewhat figured. And when they do not know; they freak out. I on the other hand really, like to flow, the currents can take me to where-ever. But in order to that; I need to know myself internally. And I don't.

Me and My Anger

**Update: About a few hours ago, my primetime shows were going to be on. I told my cousin to either move her ass away from the living room or shut it all down because I don't want to hear any kind of clicking when I am watching my shows. I told her a specific time and she didn't comply to it. Making me become a bitch and spazz at her. My anger has officially taken over me. I want to destroy things and stuff.

Flipping hell; my head has been hurting since I woke up. I woke up about six hours ago at around 5ish o'clock because my freaking aunt decided it was good to shower and dry her hair. MY FREAKING ROOM is right beside the goddamn bathroom.

How I feel.

Anyone who is anyone around me knows I need silence when I am asleep. I have let them have a stupid night light in the hallway so they can see when they go down three freaking steps. oaugh \pakjbKLJBA; KJGBASK;JDGB.

Before that I got home; the house smells like shit or an old farmer who haven't bathe in like 5 years mix with old  ratty barn house. Another thing; my sense of smell is impeccable which can lead it to being sensitive or picky. Scents are everything to me; it will make my mood or destroyed someone elses'. Then I went to my room and my father decided to mix the place around so he can paint the window sill. Ok, I understand you want to complete the window but at least have the flipping gratitude to put my bed into place instead of it being rolled into a ball. Honestly; in the last 12 hours, my blood pressure has rose by a hella lot. Obviously there's too much pressure in my head since it hurts like a bitch.

I have controlled my anger; I haven't broke anything and rip anything apart. I haven't yelled at anyone or anything. But controlling it and still feeling angry is just as bad as releasing it. I am bottling up my anger I will probably rip someone head off tonight if any of my cousins or aunt rub me the wrong me. I have tried to be zen and calm but nothing is working. And the weather is sucky, stupid overcast, the worst weather for me. It makes me angry just looking at it.

I was hoping writing this will help calm down and let out any flipping angry hormones haha but no. ousabhpegiu QEWYPKMGT,  I need to control myself for the sake of my dad but really I want to stab and jab and rip everything apart.

Side note - If I ever get pregnant and someone pisses me off. I will feel bad for that person. If my anger and emotions are already this rocky when I am 'normal', when I'm preggars, well then, I am pretty sure I will be like an angry momma bear mix with a snarling angry wolf mix with a prowling hungry lioness.

Moody Tummy

Today, I'm chilling at my brother's place because tomorrow I have to pick up my mother from the airport. Well, like any person out there, when it came in the evening, I started to get hungry, actually, my stomach felt empty. So I had to eat. Problem: my mouth and stomach doesn't know what to eat. 

Not fun. 

So I looked at our local grocery places (Safeway, Superstore and T&T); then I check out some restaurants around; my stomach and mouth felt nothing. They had no craving and wants. Of course, I scrummage around the place and there was no solid food. Boo.

I then suggested we go to Burger King and get some Whopper Wednesday and Poutine. I'm Canadian. That at least made me full but my tummy is not happy. It wants something but I don't know what. 

Hence moody tummy.

Craving: Shopping

We all have cravings and urges. It perfectly normal. 

For me, I am craving to shop. I want to buy things and have them and use them. I want to buy food, clothes, shoes, accessories, make up, cameras, digital crap, home stuffs, fragrances, and books. 

I usually don't want to get things and if I do, it will go away. For me, material objects is a whatever, only the necessities is what I need. 

What I feel/ want to do.

I'm trying to, get rid of this craving but really nothing is working. Whatever my mood is, or whatever I feel; I will 'do' it. Usually, I can make myself forget a craving if I do something else but nothing is working.

Hi,

What's your personality type?

I'm a INFP, it means Introverted, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving.

I was looking through DeviantArt, my go to art site for any kind of art and inspirations. I stumble onto a random artist's page and in her page, she had this link for a personality type test. I immediately recognize what kind of personality test and it was the legit kind. So I had to do it.

My personality profile.
Click on the link to see my results or to find your persona. You need to create an account to take the tests.

Last year, I took this test for one of my courses (professional development), dumbest class ever, or I had a really bad teacher, anyways, I took it and I got a INFJ, the only difference is the last part, where the J stands for judging.

Music: David Guetta Nicki Minaj - Turn Me On

Today, or last night, however you put it I was working on the covers for my couches and I felt like singing, so I took a little break and went to youtube and check out some new videos. I knew the lastest from David Guetta was out so I had to check it out. I love the song and hope the video was just as good. 

I love the video, it had a Frankenstein, 18th century, early Victorian style era. I love that era, it has to be one of my most favourite, style wise. The only thing what I didn't like about the video was like doll like mannequins, I am not a fan of dolls, the just freak me out. The story line and concept was beautiful. If you're not afraid of some barbie/ken like nudity, then watch the video, if you are, just listen to the song. It's danceable, singable, it's a fun song.