I really don't know how to begin this. I don't know if I should even write this but I need an outlet before anything can happen. I guess I will write out recent messed up family events.
About a week ago, my mother decided to come home from work early (about 4 hours), I asked her why she is home. She replied that she was going on vacation. What kind of mom does that to her kids? Dropping everything to go on some trip.
Being an awesome daughter, I didn't bother arguing with her about her decisions. As I have grown older with my parentals and their issues, I have learn to know when to fight back and when to let it go. I asked when will she be back, she answered in a week. It has been a week and a half and I'm freaking out. I'm worried because I don't know who she is staying wtih; I cannot contact her because I have no contact info to contact her; I know she has not paid the monthy mortgage and it needs to be paid. Now, my paranoid imagination is giving me all these thoughts that I don't want to think.
Before she left, she gave me her tfsa account, told me that I can access it, said if anything happens to her that my brother and I will get a 50/50 split. I am thinking that she had committed to some kind of messed up thing that I cannot type out and I am missing her even though she drives me crazy and I feel like I am a mom who is worried of her teenage daughter who ran off with her crazed self in international waters.
I am fine of being a motherly person to my family, making sure my parents are good and fine but there's so much I can take before thinking that something horrible has happen. It just sucks that I have to worry about my family more than I can worry about myself. Really, I can't live a decent life of a early 20s kid when I have to act like a 50 year old mom. Who can party when they have to be a parent of 5?
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