I Feel like Changing.

Let me elaborate.

I feel like I am changing.

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Most of us know, we cannot change a person unless they are willing and want to change. I am a prime example of this. No one can tell me what to do and when to do unless I want to (basically saying - if it's for work - then it's a whole different story) but I am saying that no one can change who I am just because they want me to change. You tell me to go right when I want to go left. Well if I am controlling the wheels then I am going left.

Well, my thing is more external than internal. I want to transform myself but not to an extreme. I feel like the more girlier/athletic me is pushing out. Like she wants to escape from being on the inside and wants to come out. 

The image above, explains it way better than I could. 

I am pretty content with myself externally and internally; I know my flaws and qualities. I know that if I actually commit to certain things like exercising, my health bar would actually to adequate. Thus, I am going to start exercising. I don't know why I want to but I feel like it. Other than exercising, I would be doing other things.

I just want to become stronger. I am going to change. 

I Don't Get: People

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First, I think I am going to start a new section called, "I Don't Get," where I write whatever I don't understand or get. There are quite a few things.

My first one will be on people, this is a BROAD topic in which I will discuss a lot so bare with me. 

Sometimes I feel like us humans are so selfish. We take stuff, we barely give and when we do give, we expect something in return. Where is the intergrity? The selfless acts of kindness just because we feel like it. Why are we so wrapped up in our business and thinks that there's no one out there who is feeling the same way? Why do we think we are the only one who is dealing with some issue and think nobody else is dealing with something similar? 

I live in Canada, technically I have it pretty good. I look back at the parents and grandparents to see where they came from. They had a hard life. They had to deal with wars, poverty, hunger and so much more. People in generation Y and further, we technically don't have it hard but we do have it hard because we are expected to know we want to do by the age of 20. Actually we graduated by 18 so once we are out of high school. That is a lot of pressure with someone who does not have that much experience. 

I'm still in my early twenties and I am still so confused. I know I have a passion with art and design and creating things, bringing them to life but there's a part of me who just want to live freely, exploring the world as beautiful it is. To explore nature. To live a life without any of this so call 'corporatism' but I know if this life would happen, it would be like living in the middle ages when the Roman Empire fell or before any of the ancients civilization appear, it would be living like a barbarian. I am personally fine with that but I know the world would probably come into chaos if it did. 

I like to help, I like to make the people around me having a comfortable life. I hate it when I know you can help someone and you don't. I hate it when you are so consume in your life which is practically virtual and you do shit. You do absolute nothing to help anyone around you. But you expect everyone to do everything for you. I don't get it. Why are we greedy?